Send this letter to:
Russ Rollins ( 17 year old )
c/o Edgewater High School
Edgewater Dr. Orlando
Florida - Date : 1982
Russ Rollins ( 50 year old )
c/o Real Radio 104.1
Maitland Center Blvd.
Maitland, Florida - Date: 2015
I KNOW YOU ONLY READ THE FIRST TWO LINES OF ANY LETTER! READ THIS ENTIRE LETTER RUSS!!! I KNOW YOU!
Here’s some proof that it’s really YOU, sending YOU a letter from 2015. In our bedroom we have a picture of “one boobie" hidden in the desk drawer. The desk is in front of the cork board wall, it’s covered in KISS posters. Each member of KISS has the same amount of photos on the wall. Why? Because it wouldn’t be fair to the other guys in the band if you had more Paul Stanley pictures than Peter Criss pictures. The photo of the “one boobie” is at the bottom of the pile of Batman comic books. We hide the photo under the Fantastic Four comics every other week, because it isn’t fair to them that Batman gets to see the Boobie more than them.
Do you believe me now?? No?
Okay, how about this? Since you were a kid you listened to talk radio almost every night. (Keep that up, it comes in handy) You also like to invite you friends Tony, Ernie and Mark over to spend the night and freak them out by making the Ouija board talk to them. Stop making the Ouijia board tell Tony a demon is going to kill him in his sleep. That crap will not be funny in 2018.
Still don’t believe me?
You and Bo just got Dads Jeep stuck in the clay pits in Pine Hills. You didn’t know how to lock the hub caps and you couldn't get it in 4 wheel drive. You think you got away with it and Dad doesn’t know. He knows. Just so you know, you blew the transmission.
Now that you know it’s me, listen to me Russ.
No matter what anyone says, or how many times you hear “Look out for Bo, he’s trouble” , don’t listen to them. Your gut is right, he’s a good friend, he deserves the benefit of the doubt. We are 50 now and he will be by your side through thick and thin. ( You will have many years of thick.) He is the only person you are right about.
Russ, we are a really bad judge of character. Seriously Russ, we think it’s a good trait to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Problem is, the people that need that “benefit” are looking for sappy suckers like us. We get taken advantage of a lot.
You are going to go to Valencia Community College. You will not remember one day of it. I would tell you it’s a waste of money, but it’s not. For your lunch break, some days your are going to go to Bojangles for hot spicy friend chicken, some days you are going to go to Nanny’s house and have a fried bologna sandwich and watch “Days of our Lives”. Forget Bojangles. Go to Nanny’s every day you can. It will be the best memories of your entire life. Go see Nanny, kiss her goodbye every time you leave.
Follow your dreams. You have a blind ignorance that works for you. When people tell you, you can’t do something, you view it as a challenge. You will alway prove nay sayers wrong , keep believing in yourself. Your Mom, dad, Nanny & Bo will always believe in you too.
Don’t be so hard on yourself about not being able to spell. In the future, magic machines will spell for you, it’s not that big a deal dude.
Russ, we are a sucker for love. I know you are upset the Shelia Martinue broke up with us. You don’t think you will ever meet another super blonde, toe headed, bow legged girl, that only wears purple ever again. You are right, you will not. Russ, you’re going to meet, date and marry many girls. My advice, go for it with most all of them. You love with all your heart and you will learn from every relationship barring ONE. The one that makes you feel like she’s too good for you on your first date, only talks to Doctors and Lawyers, looks down at you for what you do for a living and only talks about her ex husband…….. run!!! Don’t look back.
Finally 17 year old Russ, stop stuffing your fat face. Russ, we get fat. I know that is hard to believe , but we get sloppy fat. So fat we can’t even see our weiner for half our life. That is not good dude. Learn to eat better Russ. I know when we are upset nothing feels better than a foot long, double turkey, ham and cheese with extra mayo from Gabriels. I know, it’s good but it makes us so nasty fat. Learn to exercise when stressed out. You will look much better and you will be able to see your wiener when you get older.
You are going to do some great things kid. You will not believe some of the incredible experiences you will have. All of your heroes right now, you will meet and talk to. We will have a tag team match with “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes, in front of thousands of people, in downtown Orlando. We get to meet and hang out with KISS. Our dream of having the biggest and most popular radio show in the history of Orlando will exceed our wildest dreams. ( No matter who tells you its a good idea to do a podcast at home, don’t do it!!! )
Russ, I’m going to leave the rest for you to live and experience. Just be you man. Love with your entire heart, like you do. Believe in the people that need a second chance and learn to listen when Mom & Dad talk. Oh Yea, do more things with our sister Karla. She’s a good sister and has had to live with you sucking up all the attention her whole life. She has a sweet soul and needs her brothers love you big dummy.
You know I love you,
Maybe too much,
Russ - 1982